My nextU

In words or pictures, ee cummings painted a world of delight. From Ken Lopez Bookseller

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch.  Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
~ ee cummings

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If you think an entrepreneur is someone else, you might want to re-evaluate. The many changes of the last decade have produced a new social paradigm: we are all entrepreneurs.

Our assumptions about income, job security, retirement, and healthcare may have been turned on their heads, which means that your future up to you. And this is great news!

Instead of trying to shoehorn yourself into that wrong-sized-and-shaped hole, you can start charting your own path. Instead of counting on someone else’s job description to give you happiness, you can use your unique gifts and postponed dreams to build a future that is truly satisfying.

What would change if you opened the doors of You, Inc?

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What are the ingredients of a great summer? We memorialize our trips to the beach, mountains or foreign countries, but what if we included the non-glamourous time, as well?

What if I turned the equation on its head? What if the real indicator of success was being able to be in the absolutely ordinary and routine? Instead of how successful my crops of tomatoes and basil are (not), what if the time I spent weeding and watering were equally enjoyed?

I avoid cleaning and maintaining as much as possible. I think they are a time suck from the life I’m supposed to have. I’m always striving to get away from the chore I’m burdened with and into the life I aspire to. When I turn the equation on its head, I notice a sense of time slowing and an increase of pleasure, because I’m not “supposed” to be doing something else, meaning something better. I get to be in the moment, instead of chasing the dream of the perfect one.

breathing, change your life, faith, finding joy, get unstuck, gross national happiness, personal growth, simplify your life, surviving tough times, transitions, Uncategorized, What's really important, women and change

Thought of the day from my girlfriend Jan!

Girlfriends make the serotonin difference

” I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection–the relationship between stress and disease.  The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.  At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin–a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.  Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going.  Jobs? Yes.   Sports? Yes.  Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf?  Yes.  But their feelings?–rarely.  Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health.  He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged–not true.  In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!  So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!  We are indeed very very lucky.   Sooooo let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it’s very good for our health.”

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A drop of appreciation will open your emotional walls

It was a hard conversation. I wasn’t getting what I wanted in the moment nor would I get it in the long run. Usually, I launch into a pattern of resentment and launch a mental attack loop in my brain of righteous reinforcement. This time, I didn’t want to leave so much wreckage in the aftermath.

Instead, I looked for what was working in our interaction. I couldn’t think of much.  I told him I appreciated that he was willing to discuss it with me. Immediately, instead of a brick wall, I felt an opening in me that felt better. I realized I could also appreciate that  he allowed silence.  That felt even better. I felt more open and loving so I tried it a third time.

Even with tiny, seemingly insignificant expressions of appreciation, I felt  more expanded and less affected by what he did or did not do or say. I came away with renewed connection and many more avenues of possibility.

I can’t control what other people want or do, but I can loosen the locks that cut me off from my wholeness with even a tiny drop of appreciation.

breathing, change your life, get unstuck, personal growth, surviving tough times, transitions, Uncategorized, What's really important, women and change

I Ask Percy How I Should Live My Life
Love, love, love, says Percy.
And hurry as fast as you can
along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.

Then, go to sleep.
Give up your body heat, your beating heart.
Then, trust.

~ Mary Oliver ~
(The Truro Bear and Other Adventures)

faith, finding joy, get unstuck, gross national happiness, transitions, Uncategorized, What's really important, women and change

Sleep deprived?
Whether caused by insomnia or burning the candle at both ends, this 60-minute experiential teleseminar will take you on a refreshing, restorative journey.

Learn how to intervene on the thoughts that are keeping you awake. Experience peace of mind and expanded space for your Self. Practice settling into deep rest.

You will be introduced to a powerful whole brain/whole body technique that benefits your brain, physical body, nervous system, emotions, imagination and spirit.

Events, Uncategorized

Overheard on the New York Times site:

“I remember my Grandmother-in-law Blanch coming back from trying on shoes at Marshall Field’s in Chicago. She said the salesman kept bringing out such clunky shoes. Finally, she told him,”Sir, I may be 80 but I am NOT 90′
Lauren
Montclair, NJ

aging, childless, finding joy, get unstuck, personal growth, Uncategorized, What's really important, women and change

Why not keep a supply in your wallet?

If you ever played the game Monopoly, you know the power of the “Get out of jail free” card. Instead of going directly to jail, where you are stuck until you roll doubles with the dice, you get to get back in the game immediately. Why not put a couple in your pocket to use today?
If you’re like me, every time you make a mistake or commit an infraction of your unwritten rules, you put yourself in mental jail.  Iron bars are nothing against the strength of imprisonment of labels such as “stupid,” “wrong,” “bad”, “irredeemable.”  If you accept the label, it usually sets off a vicious cycle of judging yourself, and proving that the judgment is true, further imprisoning yourself, limiting your creativity, and cutting off innocent learning.
There is a quick way out of this: give yourself a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. It creates a sense of freedom, cuts off the self-recrimination, and gives you at least an interior smile to carry you through the rest of your day.

change your life, get unstuck, personal growth, simplify your life, Uncategorized, What's really important, women and change

A wide kneed child's pose calms your mind too

3:30 am. I was awake. At 4:00, I surrendered to the fact that I wasn’t asleep, so I started my anti-insomnia regime. Here is one of the secrets:

1. Get out of bed. It counter-intuitive, but you will feel more rested ultimately if you don’t spend the rest of the night tossing and turning in your bed. Use your bed only for sleeping, sex, or sickness.

2. Get that large exercise ball out of the closet and put it to good use. Drape your belly over the ball. Breathe into your belly, long slow breaths. Feel your belly expand and push against the ball. Drop your jaw and release the air as your body wants to. After about five minutes or fifty breaths,  move to the ground to a wide kneed child’s pose, if you are familiar with yoga or lie on your side with your knees bent, in a comfortable fetal position. Notice how you’re feeling and breathing.  Allow yourself to doze or rest for a few minutes.

3. Notice if your mind is back in the sleep zone. If it is, very gently, go back to bed.

4. If not you can repeat this exercise or drape yourself over a couple pillows in child’s pose and consciously breathe for another five minutes.

Even if you don’t fall asleep, you will feel significantly more rested and refreshed for having invested ten minutes in breathing.

breathing, sleep, Uncategorized