My nextU

According to Mona Simpson, Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow! were the last words of Steve Jobs. She tells a completely moving story, which you should read in the New York Times, but I have a question:

While I aspire to have that be my last utterance, what if I lived OH WOW! OH WOW! OH WOW! everyday? What if  I brought OH WOW! into my most mundane practices?

Here’s my first try. I made a cup of tea. Instead of judging myself for wanting honey in it, I thought OH WOW! Honey! It made this humble cuppa exciting, special, daring and worth paying attention to all the way to the bottom.

What if you dedicate 5 minutes today to OH WOW! What thoughts or feelings come to mind?

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Cotton courtesy of Agriterra.org

Pop culture may be all about conquest through hard bodies, minds, attitudes, but I find more victory in softening.

Softening helps me pay attention both to what’s going on inside me and  widens my perspective on what is going on in the rest of the world. Softening gives me many more options beyond my knee-jerk response. I can listen, consider, create a space for negotiation.  It is an extremely effective strategy to reduce stress and a critical piece in the sleep process.

Softening is doing nothing , rather, it’s a very active practice. Try it yourself. Notice how you feel right now. Take five breaths and each time you exhale imagine that you can soften, first, your muscles, then with each succeeding breath, your skin, breath, jaw, eyes. Notice the effects of this softening.

Even writing these words gives me an experience of more calm, a frisson of joy, and a sense of well being. How is it for you?

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“As one’s trust in the hidden goodness of life becomes stronger,
it will be possible to bless more and more of life’s ambiguities.”

–Demetrius Dumm

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Do you focus on the container or the experience?

I had a lot of preconceived ideas about ‘real’ meditation practice. One had to sit in a special way on a special cushion for a long time. I never do that kind of meditation.

Once I gave up the notion that form was better, I actually got to an organic practice.

What works for me is not the time or accessories, rather to give myself the time to soften so I can notice what I am feeling and thinking then, I can detach any significance of those sensations and give my mind an opportunity to quiet.

This is a great reminder to let go of all the rules I have about how things are ‘supposed to be’ and focus on what delivers the experience.

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When you look at this, do you see the liquid or the space?

My mother used to always chide me to change my attitude and look at my life as a ‘glass half full.’ I used to get angry, because I only saw what I thought I lacked. Both of us missed an important opportunity.

Instead of judging what I had or comparing myself to the imagined full glasses of others, there is a powerful third option: look at the gift of the empty space.  There aren’t any rules there. There isn’t any good or bad, right or wrong. Anything could happen. Empty is a mystery that can only be solved by exploring and experiencing for myself.

What thoughts and meaning come to mind when you take a moment for the emptiness? What does having a little more space in your life give you?

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I was going to write... really....

Do you ever congratulate yourself for procrastinating? Chances are that, like me, you are an expert.

Try it. Go ahead – make a list of all the great ways you have avoided or postponed starting something. Think of all the very sophisticated or basic strategies you’ve used and how extremely effective they have been.

Now, notice how you feel. I notice that once I have praised myself, I no longer feeling resistance. I feel positive and ready to do the next thing. Instead of  my usual endless mental cycle of resist, berate, regret, the big task seems easy to start on.

What do you notice?

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Cut stress, liberate energy, rekindle your sense of humor, and entertain yourself endlessly. Better yet, it’s free and 100% renewable.  In fact, you can use this  proven technique  in any situation to adjust your attitude.

• Consider the situation.

• Imagine you were a superhero. After all, you probably regularly leap over huge obstacles, cut through impenetrable confusion and/or hold up the weight of other people’s expectations. What powers do you need today?

• If you had your superhero costume on underneath your clothes, what would it look like?

• As you interact with people, you can consider, ‘what if they knew that beneath this Goretex jacket, I am really a superhero?’

And it’s all in the privacy of your own mind.

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Ruth Krauss's inspiration to take off

I can fly!*
What are you thinking? Something like “That’s Absurd?” or “Impossible.”

Here’s what happens I make a declaration of the impossible and follow the thread of the absurd:
I  start to play.
I see myself soaring high on the currents of air.
I feel light.
I’m inspired.
I see all kinds of new perspectives.
Then, I truly am flying, beyond the gravity of the situation I have imposed on myself.

Go ahead. Try it. No one is watching …  what happens for you?

* special thanks to Ruth Krauss who inspired me from an early age

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Behind the kitchen door lurks a burnt pan. Photo by Sarah Meyer Walsh

I pride myself on making wonderful meals for myself, but just as often, they’re wonderful messes. While I like to learn new cooking techniques and recipes, what I really need are more ways to clean up burned pans, melted plastic and scorched counters.

This morning I forgot to turn the stove off after cooking my egg. It would have been okay, except I set the bread in its paper bag on top of it. The bag caught on fire, which I made worse by trying to move it outside. Then I remembered to smother it.

Nothing seems to have been damaged, though the smell reminds me of my inattention

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Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney will help you resist temptation

Now science has caught up to me, validating that the way to improve your will power is to give your brain some glucose and/or rest! Seriously.

And, if you want to build your willpower muscles, Baumeister and Tierney recommend a meditation practice.

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